Bern's Bookcase: Before I Let You Go Book Review

A heartbreaking story of abuse and addiction 

and their lasting effects.

"There is no off switch to the love between sisters; 

no way to pause it, no way to destroy it." 

Before I Let You Go by Kelly Rimmer was both a heartbreaking and heartwarming tale of the love between two sisters. Annie is a drug addict facing the biggest problem of her life. She is strung out, pregnant and in premature labor. Not knowing what else to do or who to turn to she calls her big sister, Lexie, for help. Lexie has always been more of a mother than a sister to Annie. She has always been the one to step in to help her little sister throughout the trials of her life, with unwavering love and compassion.

"Addiction is, in that way, just like love—in the early moments, you don’t see the potential for it to bring you pain—it’s just something you slide into between laughs and smiles and moments of bliss. It’s something that feels like a shield, until you realize it’s actually a warhead, and it’s pointed right at you." 

Annie's addiction was fueled by her childhood trauma. The early loss of her father and the harsh, abusive years that followed led her down a dark path where drugs offered her the only escape she felt worthy of having. Now, she is faced with jail time and the possible loss of her newborn daughter if she doesn't complete a rehab program and finally remain sober.

The story is told in alternating voices between Lexie's perspective as she struggles to take care of her newborn niece and Annie's journal entries depicting her struggle. The journal entries offer us keen insight into how Annie ended up the way she did.  They are heartbreaking in their brutal honesty.

Aside from the obvious bond between the sisters another aspect I really enjoyed from the book was Lexie's fiance, Sam. What an amazing man! Honestly, I know he was fictional but he seriously made me swoon. He was so patient, loving and compassionate. Knowing that these girls hadn't lived an easy life, I was happy that Lexie had Sam in her life. He offered her compassion, stability and unconditional love.

On the other hand, I was so infuriated by Lexie & Annie's mother. I just wanted to shake her to knock some sense into her! She had her head in the sand for far too long and her daughter's paid the price for it.

"It’s funny how every single thing in your life 

can shatter with a single decision." 

Though I knew what the ending would hold it still utterly broke my heart. There were no surprises in the plot but the story was very well told. It was thought-provoking regarding the issue of drug addicted pregnant women & mothers. It was also an honest look at addiction, family, loss, secrets, love and forgiveness. This story definitely has triggers so go into it aware if those are sensitive topics for you but Kelly Rimmer handled these tough topics with compassion, hope and honesty.