Here's a BIG one - It's ok to say 'NO!". That's huge for me. It probably is for you too. Why do we feel like we must say yes to everything? If we honestly can't do it - why don't we just say so. Why stretch yourself thin and then feel miserable, stressed and overwhelmed. Who benefits from that? Certainly not me or my family and in the end no one else around us does either. Yet, I have always been a "yes" girl. Never wanting to admit that I can't do it all. Never wanting to let people down. Once again putting unnecessary pressure on myself. Pressure no one else even knew about because I kept it all to myself. I didn't want to show my cracks, my flaws. It gets harder and harder to hide them. I'm done hiding them. It's ok to say, "I have a lot on my plate and I really can't commit to doing anything else today" or "I can't do that today but I can help you (insert day) if you can wait". They will understand and if they don't - too bad. I'm done putting everyone else ahead of myself and my family. I matter.
It's ok to ask for help. Another hard one for me. Why - asking for help means admitting I can't do it all. Yikes! What will people think of me when they find out I don't have it all together? It's simple really - they will think I am human. I am just like them. When we reach out for help we get so much more that just help. We find acceptance, camaraderie and allies. When I've put down pretenses and let people see my cracks and flaws, they were willing to share theirs. It feels so good to know you are not alone. Don't let the pretense of being "super woman" isolate you. Being a working mom and wife is hard enough. I need my allies, my friends and my family. Think about it - even super heroes have trusty side kicks.
(clip art image courtesy of dreamstime.com)
I may be imperfect and fall short of the mark sometimes. That's ok. What matters is that I do "my" best. My best may not be your best. That's ok. It's good enough for me and my family. They love me for who I am, not who I think I am supposed to be for them. To my girls, I am supermom. I am the #1 mom. They tell me that all the time. I just haven't been listening. Know what - you are super to your children as well. Let's focus on that instead of the mistakes. Let's take time to celebrate our successes each day instead of our failings. Let's find our balance. Let's be happy with who we are. We are good enough. In fact, we are actually pretty darn spectacular! If we weren't we couldn't care about all this "stuff" so much.